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Hollow by ~slushy:iconslushy:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


You're lacking something.
Like a paper flower's want for breath.
Cobwebs stating that age-old story
Of life that used to live.

You find it hiding.
In echos of memory,
With a dusty streetsign you should have
Been watching.

You've made a wrong turn.
Somewhere in childhood you lost your way,
Only to find it ten-thousand years later,
And all that you know is angel's decay.

Suffocation in a crevice
Between the past and future,
Sleeping in your rot by day,
And through the wailing night you waste away.
©2004-2009 ~slushy
:iconslushy:

Author's Comments

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Comments


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:iconplaydo:
~playdo Apr 30, 2004, 9:00:50 PM
I really like it Kat, i'm not much of a poem reader or writer so i'm not very good at interpritation of what your trying to say. but i'm gunna wing it lol if i'm wrong you don't have to tell me cuz i'll just keep thinking what I think it is lol...
what I got out of it is that you missed something in life when you were younger, and you want to go back and change it but you cant and you don't know how, it's eating at you at the fact that you cant go back and change your childhood, like you should have been watching but you didn't and now it's too late!! now if this is wrong well then i'm sorry hahah I tryed but anywase I really like it because it showes how i feal alot of the time like there is something missing in my life something i could have had but left behind! hmm... anywase killer poem love it!!!

:heart:
Steph....
:iconslushy:
~slushy May 1, 2004, 7:05:33 AM
you're right on! lol.. i'm not really sure what it is that is gone though.. maybe i'll find it someday.

:heart: kitty

--
:rose: life dripping from its veins... petals fade to black... :blackrose:
:iconnecr0mancer:
~necr0mancer May 10, 2004, 5:48:02 PM
wow...beautiful imagery. metaphors too...
how you structured this piece is so powerful...
the dark atmosphere is incredible...
need i go on?

lovely poem...

i hope u keep writing.

--
murray.
:iconhalflingangel:
~halflingangel May 18, 2004, 5:48:25 PM
always welcoming to another jesus freak. I love your stuff. This poem is awesome :)

--
~LINK~ "I am the almighty cute guy in the green tights" lover of :cheese: :cake:

"Take this time, close your eyes, try to open up your mind, I will lead you, a distant land, a dying man, lying wounded in your hands, wonder why he's bleeding" -Stereo Motion
:iconmelencholia:
~melencholia Jun 23, 2004, 4:35:29 PM
it great...i love it..
:iconactrizanna:
~ActrizAnna Dec 5, 2004, 9:24:47 PM
hey that was really good, i love the metaphors and the overall feel of it is amazing, thanks for commenting on my stuff :)
:iconar-pharazon:
~Ar-Pharazon Mar 21, 2005, 5:58:23 PM
Girl, you really can write. This pretty much describes a lot of peoples lives... especially :

"Sleeping in your rot by day,
And through the wailing night you waste away."

I think I have a new :+fav:

--
"I don't need to a compass to tell me which way the wind shines"
:iconliquidbliss:
~LiquidBliss Jul 10, 2005, 11:30:46 PM
Excellent poem. You have a wonderful command of language. The first two lines are an immediate hook. You've managed to convey your message without sounding corny, cliche, or overly-angsty. In fact, the tone is almost of indifference, as if there is no reason to even hope for hope. This is certainly a very wonderful piece.
:iconslushy:
~slushy Jul 11, 2005, 4:47:01 AM
thanks so much! i truly appreciate it.

--
:rose: life dripping from its veins... petals fade to black... :blackrose:
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